As a queer woman myself, I found it disingenuous the coming out of Sophia whereby the only victim was her to the heterosexual patriarchal society we live in. It would have been a much more nuanced take if she acknowledged that her hesitance to accept herself meant that she even inadvertently hurt others during this coming out period ie Ali. If she didn’t want to take responsibility then she shouldn’t have spoken about her current relationship. Stand on business or don’t, but none of this milquetoast in between.
Great read! I find it interesting in reality tv that social "offenders" have co-opted anti-bullying buzzwords to deflect responsibility. I loved that you brought that up! Sandoval and Rachel are prime examples of this. There's a difference between bullying and accountability, but they are both too selfish to understand the difference
“both are too selfish to understand the difference” YES. such a good point! People love using buzzwords to cloak themselves in goodness, and I noticed the same thing with victim language as well (being mean to me is ableist/fatphobic/etc)
I agree with this take except I do feel like the majority of american still shame cheaters. When it comes to accountability I think we will find our middle road. You had what some would say was the extreme cancellation issue and then now you have people going to the other extreme no accountability at all.
That's a good point! I think there's a difference in levels of what's considered acceptable, shaming people in private via gossip vs. actual societal eyebrow raising. But I agree with you, we've swung in the opposite direction in a way that's odd to see!
As a queer woman myself, I found it disingenuous the coming out of Sophia whereby the only victim was her to the heterosexual patriarchal society we live in. It would have been a much more nuanced take if she acknowledged that her hesitance to accept herself meant that she even inadvertently hurt others during this coming out period ie Ali. If she didn’t want to take responsibility then she shouldn’t have spoken about her current relationship. Stand on business or don’t, but none of this milquetoast in between.
Great read! I find it interesting in reality tv that social "offenders" have co-opted anti-bullying buzzwords to deflect responsibility. I loved that you brought that up! Sandoval and Rachel are prime examples of this. There's a difference between bullying and accountability, but they are both too selfish to understand the difference
“both are too selfish to understand the difference” YES. such a good point! People love using buzzwords to cloak themselves in goodness, and I noticed the same thing with victim language as well (being mean to me is ableist/fatphobic/etc)
I agree with this take except I do feel like the majority of american still shame cheaters. When it comes to accountability I think we will find our middle road. You had what some would say was the extreme cancellation issue and then now you have people going to the other extreme no accountability at all.
That's a good point! I think there's a difference in levels of what's considered acceptable, shaming people in private via gossip vs. actual societal eyebrow raising. But I agree with you, we've swung in the opposite direction in a way that's odd to see!
Do people think accountability is cute? Thanks for this post.