11 Comments

So I publish a nontraditional wedding blog that's been around for decades, and one of my favorite things is sharing ren faire weddings because they contradict so much of what people like to say about hotness and relationships.

Let me explain: many of the folks having ren faire weddings were not what some would call conventionally attractive, but it was clear they were having so much sex. The weddings were all bi/pan/poly with the bride having 2 girlfriends and the 5'4" groom having an elf on the side and the wedding receptions having sex tents and ok fine I'm exaggerating a bit for effect but only just barely! My editors used to joke that based on the ren faire weddings we saw, the folks that some people dismissed as "ugly nerds" were having wayyyy more fun and a LOT more sex than the rest of us -- by many magnitudes.

So whenever people try to talk about having to be young, hot, fit, whatEVER to get laid, I'm just like y'all. Have you never been to a ren faire?? Your misconceptions about what it takes to get a date are woefully wrong. You don't need abs or a perfect jaw line.... you need social skills, bravery, and emotional flexibility.

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Oct 2Liked by Tell the Bees

The Substance-ification of gay men... Say it louder!!

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your brief and very insightful analysis made me want to watch the movie.

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author

that means a lot to me! it’s kind of insane but ultimately says a lot about society and womanhood

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I've been saying it for years, if you look at the bears and their social circles, they all look the same. Which, in turn, makes it so so exclusionary, like you said.

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omg love that you brought in rejection into this! another great one, thanks for the shoutout :)

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i feel like the last sentence of rejection, the one that says (spoiler) that you need to accept the rejection to be truly rejected, acknowledges the input and outputs you mention and that self worth lies within the individual and not the system

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Great input on the beauty industry.

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Everyone should go and watch "What U Missed While U were popular" from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, it sums up the reality that not only hot/popular people get laid!

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I feel like there's some kind of meta-commentary to be had about the fact that Demi Moore's character in Substance is supposed to be 50. Demi Moore does not look 50. She's a very attractive woman in her early 60s who looks like... a very attractive woman in her early 60s (source: I'm in my early 50s and wake up next to a woman in her early 50s every day). But since I haven't seen the movie, I'm not sure which way that meta-commentary would cut, beyond "even in a piece critiquing a undue fear of aging, Demi Moore is cast in a manner that significantly understates her age."

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Nailed.

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