Your reading of Laurie's monologue is so interesting! I've been trying to process what I think about it (beyond generally feeling really sad for Laurie/Mike White's ideas about upperish middle class women), but this idea that Millenials are primed for a fantasy life at the same time they have very little chance of achieving it and are thus placed in a sort of perma aspiration that never develivers them to the stage of life where they might pause, and, like, get spirituality or live for something beyond themselves is really interesting. Totally different point--this really makes me think of beauty culture and the discussions about how you can't tell what an adult is "supposed" to look like anymore because of procedures and sunscreen, etc. Feels like there's something there to do with the blurring of age/arrival.
Another excellent piece - I've been meditating on the idea of prescribed life paths a lot recently as my work picks up momentum and I feel less tethered to the possibility of a traditional romantic future (husband + kids) than I ever have before. It's really freeing mostly because I DON'T know what's going to happen next & therefore I don't have this expectation that I'll Feel Happy When - I'm getting way better at just feeling happy and fulfilled now (aside from when I am up until 2 in the morning weeping over the fate of the republic)
Agree! I also think spending time with creative people sort of uncouples one from traditional narratives- I'm writing about this soon too, but my obsession with timelines sort of vanished once I stopped exclusively hanging out with people who wanted all the traditional markers of adulthood with no introspection as to why/how
I've been pretty underwhelmed by the Divorce Memoir Industrial Complex (TM), despite (or perhaps because) being divorced and super pro-divorce. Seriously, I think any reason to divorce is a good one. However, I am transfixed by what is depicted in The Valley and I think it's because it's refusing to make a neat narrative of divorce as a deep, spiritual form liberation. It just gives us an unvarnished mundane mess created by very banal people. Realest thing I've seen about divorce in a while lol
ooh I love this. I'm reading Scaachi Koul's book and the divorce quadrangle novel soon, but I think Leslie Jamison did it well! And yeah, the idea that divorce will set you free is questionable but it's such a good story people won't want to let it go just yet- it's easy to think THIS is the thing making me miserable, much less sexy to get divorced and realize you're still stuck with you
"so much of American society is built upon the idea that you’ll be happy when" yeah, that!! especially reflecting on the fact that now two generations of Americans (millennial and gen z) have been sold the idea that you'll be stable + successful if you sign your life away to perennial student loan debt (the ultimate oxymoron!), which in turn delays those other traditional markers of success, i.e. marriage, house, kids. I think a lot about what my life can look like without that pesky "whens" haunting my every decision - really loved this analysis!
ugh I feel like everything I write can be traced back to the financial anxiety of student loan debt (the curse of the millennial novel) but yes! and thank you so much!
I feel like this calls back to billionaire-apologists seeing themselves as future-billionaires too. And "high value men" being obsessed with their current hustle that's going to earn them six figures in probably only like a month dude so you should totally sleep with them. We're all living for some creepy fantasy that we probably don't even really want.
all bravo shows, but especially VPR are the ultimate faustian bargain: get the thing you want (modest celebrity) but to do so you remain crystallized as some version of the person you were at the start of the show, unable to meaningfully change (lest you become too boring to stay a cast member!)
Loved this exploration of the cycles we and our fictional characters hardly ever break. That's definitely my takeaway about the White Lotus series in general, and it honestly informs my view of the stories to the point where they feel tragically/Shakespeareanly? predictable. No one in that series ever breaks the cycle. I saw Laurie's monologue as a continuation on that theme. While her monologue was heartfelt and I think resonated with people across generations, it definitely marked a return to normal for her character. She returned to being the broken, depressed, dependent friend. And that pleased the hell out of her besties. Thanks so much for your thoughts, I loved this synthesis across stories and genres on white middle/upper class aspirations
(side note: i say this so nicely/soft suggestion re: Elliot's pronouns, I think it could work if at the start you rephrased to say "For the uninitiated, the movie stars Elliot Page as Juno MacGuff, a teenager who [...] decides to give up her baby..." just to grammatically clarify you are referring to the character Juno as she/her. maybe this removes the need for the footnote? but idk i say this ever sooo lightly as the mildest of suggestions I hate telling people how to write anything.)
Thank you for the note! Made that change and it works a lot better. Appreciate it!!
I totally agree with your analysis of Laurie- I didn't expect anything there to change either, as sometimes we're locked into the roles in friendship groups and people can't ever break out of them.
Your reading of Laurie's monologue is so interesting! I've been trying to process what I think about it (beyond generally feeling really sad for Laurie/Mike White's ideas about upperish middle class women), but this idea that Millenials are primed for a fantasy life at the same time they have very little chance of achieving it and are thus placed in a sort of perma aspiration that never develivers them to the stage of life where they might pause, and, like, get spirituality or live for something beyond themselves is really interesting. Totally different point--this really makes me think of beauty culture and the discussions about how you can't tell what an adult is "supposed" to look like anymore because of procedures and sunscreen, etc. Feels like there's something there to do with the blurring of age/arrival.
Another excellent piece - I've been meditating on the idea of prescribed life paths a lot recently as my work picks up momentum and I feel less tethered to the possibility of a traditional romantic future (husband + kids) than I ever have before. It's really freeing mostly because I DON'T know what's going to happen next & therefore I don't have this expectation that I'll Feel Happy When - I'm getting way better at just feeling happy and fulfilled now (aside from when I am up until 2 in the morning weeping over the fate of the republic)
Agree! I also think spending time with creative people sort of uncouples one from traditional narratives- I'm writing about this soon too, but my obsession with timelines sort of vanished once I stopped exclusively hanging out with people who wanted all the traditional markers of adulthood with no introspection as to why/how
I’m 35 and I feel like the key to being happy in this stage of life is knowing that everyone is just a little bit mis and that’s ok
I've been pretty underwhelmed by the Divorce Memoir Industrial Complex (TM), despite (or perhaps because) being divorced and super pro-divorce. Seriously, I think any reason to divorce is a good one. However, I am transfixed by what is depicted in The Valley and I think it's because it's refusing to make a neat narrative of divorce as a deep, spiritual form liberation. It just gives us an unvarnished mundane mess created by very banal people. Realest thing I've seen about divorce in a while lol
ooh I love this. I'm reading Scaachi Koul's book and the divorce quadrangle novel soon, but I think Leslie Jamison did it well! And yeah, the idea that divorce will set you free is questionable but it's such a good story people won't want to let it go just yet- it's easy to think THIS is the thing making me miserable, much less sexy to get divorced and realize you're still stuck with you
"so much of American society is built upon the idea that you’ll be happy when" yeah, that!! especially reflecting on the fact that now two generations of Americans (millennial and gen z) have been sold the idea that you'll be stable + successful if you sign your life away to perennial student loan debt (the ultimate oxymoron!), which in turn delays those other traditional markers of success, i.e. marriage, house, kids. I think a lot about what my life can look like without that pesky "whens" haunting my every decision - really loved this analysis!
ugh I feel like everything I write can be traced back to the financial anxiety of student loan debt (the curse of the millennial novel) but yes! and thank you so much!
I feel like this calls back to billionaire-apologists seeing themselves as future-billionaires too. And "high value men" being obsessed with their current hustle that's going to earn them six figures in probably only like a month dude so you should totally sleep with them. We're all living for some creepy fantasy that we probably don't even really want.
all bravo shows, but especially VPR are the ultimate faustian bargain: get the thing you want (modest celebrity) but to do so you remain crystallized as some version of the person you were at the start of the show, unable to meaningfully change (lest you become too boring to stay a cast member!)
it is the devil's bargain for a reason but I do think Doute has overcome just a little- she's shown marked growth in the last twelve years
It's true but it feels like she had to get fired first and stay in the hinterlands of podcasts and social media to do so!
Loved this exploration of the cycles we and our fictional characters hardly ever break. That's definitely my takeaway about the White Lotus series in general, and it honestly informs my view of the stories to the point where they feel tragically/Shakespeareanly? predictable. No one in that series ever breaks the cycle. I saw Laurie's monologue as a continuation on that theme. While her monologue was heartfelt and I think resonated with people across generations, it definitely marked a return to normal for her character. She returned to being the broken, depressed, dependent friend. And that pleased the hell out of her besties. Thanks so much for your thoughts, I loved this synthesis across stories and genres on white middle/upper class aspirations
(side note: i say this so nicely/soft suggestion re: Elliot's pronouns, I think it could work if at the start you rephrased to say "For the uninitiated, the movie stars Elliot Page as Juno MacGuff, a teenager who [...] decides to give up her baby..." just to grammatically clarify you are referring to the character Juno as she/her. maybe this removes the need for the footnote? but idk i say this ever sooo lightly as the mildest of suggestions I hate telling people how to write anything.)
Thank you for the note! Made that change and it works a lot better. Appreciate it!!
I totally agree with your analysis of Laurie- I didn't expect anything there to change either, as sometimes we're locked into the roles in friendship groups and people can't ever break out of them.
Just watched 13 Going on 30 and all I could think the whole time was how talented Jennifer Garner is
Love love love this piece!
thank you!!
this is so well written. absolutely crushing to read, but really sincerely well written.
Can you do a full list of “must watch” divorce movies….
The more I learn about Kristen, the more frightened I become of a Vanderpump watch
She's just a regular girl famously lacking in self-respect