I will be thinking more about this… for straight women, definitely feels to me like a kind of status signaling to have a partner (versus being single woman). Akin to a shopping haul video: “look at my man”
this is SUCH a good take! I’m 100% on board with it: it’s showing off the goods. in a society obsessed with monogamy and marriage, having a man is literally the key to a new life and seen as aspirational.
Absolutely. In the wasteland that is modern dating one of the biggest signals of social status, being and adult and being OKAY (tm) is having a partner. Especially as a woman. The internal dynamics of the relationship are irrelevant so long as the performance holds up.
so interesting and very true -- thinking about this alongside the new Sabrina Carpenter song where she pleads with her man not to embarrass her! women's status can be gained or lost based on the attractiveness and behaviour of the proximal boy -- but the bar for "good" behaviour or attractiveness is still on the floor
As someone who grew up with Gloria Steinem’s MS magazine, Billie Jean King’s historic win, and Helen Reddy sound track, I Am Woman, this is so dispiriting but accurate. And yeah I think you’re so right connecting it to overturning Roe V Wade. Why do you always have to be right!
I think having second wave professors really warped my brain because some of the lukewarm stuff we see passing for feminism nowadays… It’s getting scary Betsy!!
I have zero idea what to make of this post. (I’m also not on TikTok.) Definitely noticed strange familial interest though, which is odd to me. I guess I’m more interested in how platforms have shaped our general psychology than the trends. But I definitely agree with this: We are all becoming synthetic, performative, and with less idea who we actually are apart from anything, whether it be a partner, app, or some other makeshift identity.
I’ve read this post several times over and yes it has single-handedly ruined my TikTok experience but in the best possible way. I will be re-reading again and again
This is why men don’t listen to women. There is a huge gulf between what y’all say and what y’all do. That gulf is what you label Patriarchy. Because if you called it bullshit you might have to take some ownership of your own behavior.
I will be thinking more about this… for straight women, definitely feels to me like a kind of status signaling to have a partner (versus being single woman). Akin to a shopping haul video: “look at my man”
this is SUCH a good take! I’m 100% on board with it: it’s showing off the goods. in a society obsessed with monogamy and marriage, having a man is literally the key to a new life and seen as aspirational.
Agreed with Leigh! And then the haul don’t even have to be good. It can be SHEIN! (Rude/mean man)
Absolutely. In the wasteland that is modern dating one of the biggest signals of social status, being and adult and being OKAY (tm) is having a partner. Especially as a woman. The internal dynamics of the relationship are irrelevant so long as the performance holds up.
yeah i guess a man in any relation is the biggest tiktok accessory? look at me, i have a man that i would choose over a bear and so on…
so interesting and very true -- thinking about this alongside the new Sabrina Carpenter song where she pleads with her man not to embarrass her! women's status can be gained or lost based on the attractiveness and behaviour of the proximal boy -- but the bar for "good" behaviour or attractiveness is still on the floor
As someone who grew up with Gloria Steinem’s MS magazine, Billie Jean King’s historic win, and Helen Reddy sound track, I Am Woman, this is so dispiriting but accurate. And yeah I think you’re so right connecting it to overturning Roe V Wade. Why do you always have to be right!
I think having second wave professors really warped my brain because some of the lukewarm stuff we see passing for feminism nowadays… It’s getting scary Betsy!!
Another banger from you!!!
🙏🏽
“I know, I’m just a hater without a boyfriend.” Man!
I’m always so over boyfriend/husband content & I have noticed the few times I make TToks where my man is in it the algo loves and they take off.
Great article. You really articulated something I didn’t realised I had noticed.
This is so real, and so awful. This is why I always return to Cecelia Regina’s TikTok’s.
thinking extra hard about rachel coster’s “boy room” series right now…
I have zero idea what to make of this post. (I’m also not on TikTok.) Definitely noticed strange familial interest though, which is odd to me. I guess I’m more interested in how platforms have shaped our general psychology than the trends. But I definitely agree with this: We are all becoming synthetic, performative, and with less idea who we actually are apart from anything, whether it be a partner, app, or some other makeshift identity.
The dad flipping the bride sends me
wdym this is very normal wedding behavior… I engage in gymnastics with my parents daily
I’ve read this post several times over and yes it has single-handedly ruined my TikTok experience but in the best possible way. I will be re-reading again and again
This is why men don’t listen to women. There is a huge gulf between what y’all say and what y’all do. That gulf is what you label Patriarchy. Because if you called it bullshit you might have to take some ownership of your own behavior.